Ms. Miracle: In My Eyes
Throughout high school, there’s always one person who pushes you to do better. This may not be due to their wise words, but by the example of how they’ve gone through life. For me it is my Grandmother Mary. She has not only impacted my life, but touched the hearts of every person she has met. When life gets rough, it's handled with elegance instead of resentment. This woman never has and never will rely on someone for her own happiness. Her life is not all that motivates me, but her composure and strength in every event as well.
Growing up in Phoenix and after graduating from high school, she married my Grandfather, Harold, at the age of 19. They had two girls, Suzann (my mother) and Nancy. My Grandfather was away at work during the days, so she stayed home and took care of her girls. Prior to becoming pregnant, she worked at Motorolla, but then made the decision to stay home. She also watched other children frequently to keep her girls in activities, so they could find out what they enjoyed. She cared for her girls, took them to school and dance, watched the neighborhood children, and made her family dinner every night. She found herself taking on a father role as well, after she became a single parent. This was not a setback whatsoever, she got a job working a graveyard shift at a steel mill factory, and raised her two girls (ages 11 and 7) on her own.
In the years after, She remarried and took on a new occupation, and became a school bus driver for Gilbert Public Schools. While creating a new chapter in her life, one daughter was heading off to college, and the other was starting her first year of high school. She was not sad that they were leaving, she was proud to have raised such independent young women. She embraced her new marriage and created new relationships with everyone she had worked along side.
As her daughters achieved their goals, she continued to grow as well. Her family started to expand when my mother had gotten married and became pregnant with my brother Zack, and soon after my Aunt Nancy with my cousin Courtney. Then three years later I, Stephanie Mary, was born. As I grew up, it was clear that she was and still is the best Grandma a kid could ask for. Anytime we went to Grandmas, we baked cookies, became the world's best artist, and watched Barney or Elvis movies until we fell asleep. It wasn’t just those random nights, though; it was visiting her at work and getting to play with all her toy busses, attending all the Christmas parties she hosted, going to Hale Theatre, having dinner at Macayo's (where she knew everyone and they knew her), the garage sales, and so much more. Looking back I realize how incredibly blessed I am to have her in my life. With my Grandma there was never a dull moment, and it’s still that way.
My Grandma still obtained her energy, and enthusiasm even when she was diagnosed with Sarcoma, a soft tissue cancer. I was four then. The doctors said she had a 1% chance to live through it. Did that stop her? NO! She did everything she could to fight. She began chemotherapy, and did what the doctors said would be impossible. Her strength was unbelievable. When I was told my Grandma had cancer, I never knew it meant she was sick because she sure didn’t seem like it. I never knew that the scarf on her head meant there was nothing beneath it- to me it was merely a fashion statement. I never saw a sign of weakness in he;, I just saw strength and determination. She never let the cancer define her, and after a long battle, she was cancer free. From then on she was known as the miracle patient.
After facing what seemed to be the biggest obstacle in her life, she became single again. She didn’t even blink. She had all the love and support in the world. No longer having to care for anyone but herself, she decided to retire after working 25 years in the district. We celebrated at Macayo’s with all her family, friends, and co-workers who became more like family over the years. She spent most of her time catching up with friends and being the best grandma. After a little vacation she continued to work at transportation because retirement was not something she set out for, ensuing five more years.
Being engulfed in her work and living life to her fullest, it was a shock when her cancer unexpectedly came back 13 years later. At this point, some would have decided they couldn’t go another round, but that’s not what Mary had in mind. She was determined to fight! After all, she had just become a "new" grandmother to Tatum, my cousin. At this point giving up was not an option; she’d done it once, so she was determined to do it again. After getting part of the tumor removed and starting chemo, she began making progress. She was slowly getting back to her normal routine and continued working. This went on for two more years, but a person's body can only handle so much chemo, so she had to find an alternate way to fight the cancer. The doctor prescribed a “chemo” pill, but didn’t see much progress. She then began target radiation to remove the tumor, and noticed it shrinking.
Shortly after learning that the tumor was shrinking, she was scheduled a full body scan. Prior to, I took my grandma to the doctors after she began feeling a familiar pain in a different location than the cancer she currently had. The doctor reassured her it was probably just a pulled muscle, but deep down she knew it was the cancer. Just two days before her scan, she was taken to the hospital due to a fast decline of energy. There, they performed the full body scan only to reveal that the cancer had not only grown in the one location, but arose in another, and it was growing rapidly. When she was told the news, she immediately said she wanted to continue the fight, but she was told her body could not take surgery or anymore treatment.
I am very fortunate, to be able to tell my grandmother how much I love her, and how grateful I am for everything she has done for my family and I. I have learned that time is precious, and yet you only have so much of it. She has taught me to cherish everyday of my life and everyone in it. I will no longer dwell on all that went wrong in any event, but on what went right. I will only strive to become a better person than the person I was yesterday. I know I could never please everyone or exceed at everything, but I can sure try- to do my best and give 110% to everything I attempt. She has shown me to love everything I do and everyone I know wholeheartedly. Through example she has taught me to respect everyone, and treat them as an equal. If you didn’t, then how could you expect them to be that way towards you. I now know that friends are just as important as family is and to keep them as close as possible. She’s taught me that a sense of humor can take you anywhere in life, and staying true to who you are leads to strength and respect. I can say that seeing my grandma go through life’s ups and downs, has definitely impacted me as a person. My life is forever changed by this amazingly, beautiful, funny, and strong woman. She is the reason I pursued yearbook because she told me that I could do anything I believed I could do. She knew my interests and my strengths, and helped me gain the confidence I needed to be successful in yearbook.
This was written prior to the passing of Mary, on September 3, 2015.
“You never know how strong you are, until strong is all you have left.”
Rest in Peace Grandma, I love you more! <3
